What is inside

Just a regular kid,
Spending everyday
Not knowing how to convey
What is going on,
Within himself

Trying to rise above
All the pain I feel
That seems so surreal
In this world,
That has gone mad

Showing myself,
For what is inside
A modern day Mr. Hyde
Who just doesn't know,
What went wrong

Laughing at all,
Is how the strong survive
Should I continue to strive?
For what is right,
And yet for what is wrong

Crying softly,
So no one may hear
My soul barely disappear
And hide itself
Among the withered lillies

Finding hope
In unlikely places,
Most being, my own oasis
Where nothing ever hurts
And I hurt nothing ever

Is this right?
What is in my heart,
That I need to stay apart
From all I love,
And all I hate
This fact I can't seem to debate

Which is why
No one,
Not even me,
Can tell you
If I truly am free